Capuano has pulled through. Greinke is awesome. No, Michael Young is not a good addition to the Dodgers.

This post is brought to you by Stone’s Old Guardian Oaked Barleywine. Forgive me if there are things that I might praise, like pitcher wins and RBIs. Tomorrow morning will be filled with regret.

Saturday night, Chris Capuano, who has been our whipping boy as of late, was excellent. Over 7 innings, he gave up only one run! And if you find that cake delicious, you’ll enjoy the sweet sweet frosting of 7 strikeouts and one walk over those 7 innings. When he’s hot he’s magnificent, and when he’s cold, he’s as impotent as a 70 year old man. And as if the baseball gods answered my prayers, Edinson LOLquez (see what I did there?) will be in the bullpen as opposed to replacing Capuano in the rotation. Capuano has about five more starts before the season ends. Let’s hope he can gain some momentum from his last start.

I was at today’s glorious game. If you follow the twitter (@piazzaparlor), I posted a *blow on knuckles* marvelous panoramic picture of a sold-out crowd. Greinke pitched another gem of a game. Zack Greinke pitched seven innings, gave up one run, and had seven strikeouts with two walks. Wait, what? Capuano and Greinke had similar starts? Yes, Greinke was great, and Capuano was equally great.

Want to know who is not as great? Michael fucking Young. Yes, that’s really his name. No, I’m slightly buzzed and what I just said isn’t true. Young is hitting .276/.336/.395, which isn’t terrible. But if you take into consideration his UZR/150 (a defense metric that quantifies how many runs are prevented as a result of a players defense), he provides -16.2 UZR/150 at third base. In other words, runs are scored as a result of his poor defense. I looked at third base because while he’s on the Dodgers, he sure as hell won’t bump Adrian Gonzalez. Mark Ellis isn’t going anywhere, and neither will Hanley Ramirez. Which means, Young will gobble up playing time from Uribe. Uribe is hitting a similar .271/.328/.397, but defensively, Uribe is far superior with a 25.8 UZR/150.

I don’t know what’s going on in the front office because the Dodgers still haven’t called me back for that damn internship (I can be a corporate bitch getting coffee guys, come on.) But no, really, no one knows what’s going on in the front office. Signings like Michael Young and Edinson Volquez, coupled with trades that involve Drew Butera, don’t really help to make sense of the moves either. Personally, I think once the Dodgers clinch the division, you’ll see more playing time from these never-were’s as that’s the only purpose they could possibly serve.


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