So…You’re a Dodgers Fan

“Baseball is the coolest sport in the world. Until it’s not. And then, it’s like, super dumb. Ugh.”
-William H. Shakespeare. Probably.

Well. Here we are. Again. The dust has settled. The smoke has cleared. Our non-sports loving friends have coerced us from the ledge. We’re alive. But dang, life stinks. In a few hours, the World Series will go on without the Dodgers. It hurts. It stings. It all of the aboves. All over again.

So…you’re a Dodgers fan? Are you sure? Sigh. Me too. You’d think we’d be used to this hurt by now. I know, I know, we really shouldn’t complain too much. Some have it much worse than us…

It’s ok lil’ buddy, things will get better.
But still! Twenty-six years is a long time. Your ol’ pals here at Piazza Parlor™ were still running around in diapers the last time the Dodgers brought the trophy home. And now those orange and black buffoons are heading to their THIRD world series in SIX years. For those who can’t math, the Giants have officially gone to 50% of the last 6 World Serieseses. The world is a cruel place, isn’t it?

If you’re like me (dear lord, I hope you’re not like me), the outcome of this season has been tough to swallow for the past couple of weeks. The Dodgers getting eliminated so suddenly in the playoffs has really thrown off my routine. You see, allowing yourself to dive deep into baseball fandom definitely has its perks. For 162+ days we are never bored. Especially now with the wonderful advances in technology, we can now stay even more connected with our team thanks to the “World Wide Web.” It’s awesome! Bored at work? Check what everyone’s saying on Baseball Twitter©! Can’t wait for the game tonight? Check to see if the starting lineups have been posted? Sitting on the john? Check up on your favorite Dodgers blogs for some scalding HOT TAKES. Need to smile? Take a look on Instagram to see what crazy photo the Dodgers have taken of Juan Uribe.

Aw yeah. That’s the stuff.
But now that’s done. All gone. No more. Sure there was some big news last week (we’ll get to that in a second), but the daily amount of Dodgers happenings is no longer a thing. And it makes us feel empty inside. It’s almost like hanging out with your best friend for 162 days straight. Then, suddenly, they forget how to throw a curveball and have to go home now and…wait, that analogy sounded better in my head. It sucks man! It was a season filled with such hope and possibility, and now there is nothing but a void left in all of us (shit is getting dark).

I mean, what the heck, really? This was their second Western Division title in two years. This was a GOOD team. Flawed, sure, but a team good enough to win 94 games. A team good enough to never lose more than three games in a row. They always seemed to bounce back. A team with the greatest pitcher in all of baseball. An offensive lineup that would make me swipe right in a heartbeat if it came up on Tinder. One of the most dominant closers with one of the most beautiful pitches mine own eyes has ever seen. Seriously though. WHAT. THE. HECK.

Oh right, flaws, sure sure sure. We’re all guilty of putting that bullpen in the dark recesses of our minds when we were all jumping around and spraying imaginary champagne on our friends. The starting rotation was kind of a question mark at that point too, though that ended up being not so bad, kinda? And a manager who maybe isn’t quite the best at in-game strategy. Flaws that are relatively easy to overcome over 162 games. But in a five-game series, they become very apparent, and in this case, fatal. RIP DODGERS 😥

So why are we still here? Why do we even bother with this team that continuously finds new ways to fail in spectacular fashion? WHY DANG IT?? I suppose every year for the past 26 years we’ve found new ways to convince ourselves that these caca heads are worth our attention. But I think it’s time my friends. I think we really REALLY have something to look forward to next year. Think about it. The Dodgers have moved on from GM Ned Colletti and just hired Andrew Friedman as their President of Baseball Operations. That is good. I’m sure you’ve read more than enough about Friedman (maybe in this here ol’ blog even!), so I’ll spare you a long explanation as to why this is good. Just know, having someone who has his hands in both the analytical side of baseball, as well as the old school scouting ways may be exactly what this team needs. And also keeping Colletti away from his precious gritty veterans isn’t exactly a bad thing either.

Deal with it, Colletti.
Lest us forget about the actual team you guys! Remember, like I said earlier, this was a GOOD team! And a lot of the REALLY GOOD players are going to be here next year. HOORAY! There will be a rock solid Adrian Gonzalez, a fully healthy Matt Kemp who has returned to GOLDEN GOD mode, a (hopefully) slump free Yasiel Puig, our one and only King Uribe, a forever weird but still awesome Zack Greinke, the Ramen loving Ryu and, of course, the all-powerful savior to us all, Clayton Kershaw. Sure there are a few question marks. Hanley Ramirez? We’d love to have you back, just don’t take all the money plz. Dee Gordon or Alex Guerrero? Who knows! Joc over Crawford and Ethier? Maybe? If you ask me, those uncertainties are kind of exciting, because regardless of how those questions are answered, this is still going to be a GOOD team. Of course, we can’t talk about next year without bringing up that bullpen. But you know what? If there’s one person I would want to try to figure that out (and answer the aforementioned questions above), it’s Andrew Friedman. You got this dude.

You know, I actually don’t feel so bad anymore. Yeah sure, those other dummies from up north will be playing in the World Series blah blah whatever. When you really think about it, the future is really bright for us Dodger fans. This team that keeps letting us down is finding new ways to improve, and I just keep getting excited thinking about it. I just feel this time next year, it might finally be time to see some Dodger Blue in the Fall Classic. Things are looking good guys. Yeah…

Just wait til’ next year.

Andrew Friedman: President of Baseball Operations for the Los Angeles Dodgers

By now we’ve heard the news. Andrew Friedman is now the President of Baseball Operations for the Los Angeles Dodgers, a position that was created specifically for him.

Now that we’re done squealing like girls, let’s take a look at what this means.

The first is that Ned Colletti is not gone, but he might as well be. With the establishment of a baseball operations department and Ned Colletti being reassigned as a special advisor to Stan Kasten, it is quite clear that the Dodgers do not want Ned anywhere near major team decisions. Interestingly, with the front office shakeup that took place before the season ended, it seems as if the Dodgers are going to allow Friedman to revamp the front office to his liking. Expect the Dodgers to announce who the new GM will be in the coming weeks.

An easier task might be to see what this doesn’t mean for the Dodgers. If you think that this move will give the Dodgers a World Series next year, do not fool yourself. This team will still have a very expensive Carl Crawford and Andre Ethier eating up either bench space or outfield real estate. Likewise, Adrian Gonzalez and Juan Uribe will still be on the roster next season. Throw in Matt Kemp and Yasiel Puig, and you have five players to whom the Dodgers will either owe large amounts of money or whom they will be reluctant to let go. Fortunately, that will give the Dodgers time to still have a winning team on the field while the minor leaguers develop.

Speaking of which, Friedman is praised mainly for putting a World Series caliber team on the field while working with a much smaller payroll than the Dodgers. For funsies, the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays, the team that made it to the World Series, was put together with a $43.8 million dollar payroll. Friedman is either a sorcerer or a guy that looks at more than just heart and grit. Using his fancy man maths with the highest payroll in the majorss ($269.8 million), Andrew Friedman will not only be able to put a team together for the future, he will be able to do so without bogging the team down with Colletti-esque contracts. I’m looking at you Andruw Jones.

Another plus to having a man like Friedman behind the wheel is that the Dodgers will have someone who will not be trigger shy during the trade deadline. Of course, earlier today, Dodger’s Digest reported that Colletti’s was prevented from doing something stupid, like selling the farm to bolster the bullpen. That still doesn’t explain Kevin Correia to its fullest. I’m not saying Friedman would have made a better decision, but his willingness to deal David Price to the Tigers for some young blood shows that he is future-oriented, which is a good thing for the Dodgers who suffered years of “win-at-all-cost-right-now” type of moves.

The future is always uncertain, but at the moment, it looks incredibly bright for the Dodgers.

Ned Colletti Leaving Would Be a Bad Thing for the Dodgers

Let’s call this Ned’s resting bitch face, yeah?

We are less than two full days away from when the Dodgers were eliminated from the playoffs and the rumor mill is churning at full force. Probably the most absurd rumor I saw today was something about Puig going to the Cubs, or was it Puig eats seal cubs? Who knows? Regardless, anything about Puig that floats around the twittersphere is almost always ridiculous or not true, unless noted otherwise, then it’s just ridiculous.

The rumor that gained some traction and seemed to have had any kind of legitimacy to it had Ned Colletti on the hot stove. The world’s biggest hack, Bill Plaschke, got the pot stirring when he wrote that the Dodgers were eyeing Tampa Bay GM, Andrew Friedman, to replace Ned Colletti. As the day went on, the boiling pot of bullshit simmered, and we learned that Colletti is probably not going to go anywhere.

While I wouldn’t mind the Dodgers having someone like Friedman as GM, if he, or any other general manager were to replace Colletti, there would likely be changes to the staff as well. More specifically, we would probably see Mattingly heading out the door with Ned and that is a bad thing.

Don Mattingly took over as manager in 2011 after Joe Torre retired. During Torre’s last season as manager, the Dodgers finished 80-82. It was their first losing record in five years. The following season, Mattingly’s first season as manager, the Dodgers finished the regular season 82-79. It obviously wasn’t enough for a playoff berth, but don’t forget that he had to keep the players and the fans focused on the game while the McCourt divorce drama was plastering the headlines. In 2012, the Dodgers finished the season 86-76. Again, it wasn’t enough for a playoff berth, but there was no way the Dodgers were going to stop the red hot Giants of 2012 while Matt Kemp battled injuries. Hell, the fact that the 2012 Dodgers had a winning record with a lineup that had Mark Ellis, Dee Gordon, Luis Cruz, Shane Victorino, and James Loney, should give Donnie some credit. 2013 marked the return to the playoffs for the Dodgers. Though, at the beginning of the season, you wouldn’t have believed it, even if you were Don Mattingly. After an ugly start to 2013, the Dodgers went on a historic tear and went 42-8 from June 22 to August 17. Again, Mattingly showed his ability to keep the team’s focus on the field rather than on him. The Dodgers finished 92-70, won their first division title since 2009, and advanced to the NLCS since that same year. Their playoff run ended thanks to the Cardinals. Finally, during this last season, 2014, the Dodgers finished the regular season 94-68, their best record since 2009 (95-67). Beyond managing the Dodgers to a second consecutive NL West Division title and a second playoff appearance (that ended thanks to the Cardinals), Mattingly had to deal with an outfield logjam, an ego stricken Matt Kemp, a rotating cast of subpar pitchers, and a hodgepodge of could’a-been utility infielders. I doubt there could have been a more effective manager at the helm than Mattingly. In fact, according to various reports, Mattingly was responsible for calming down Matt Kemp, as well as helping both Kemp and Ethier transition into their roles in right field and the bench, respectively.

Although the Dodgers have not been able to get beyond the Cardinals in the playoffs, Mattingly has done a fantastic job managing the team. His in-game strategy is definitely a blemish on his tenure as manager, though, the questionable calls that he has made are decisions that would have been made by any other manager. In spite of these calls, the Dodgers have consistently improved their regular season record while under his leadership. The fact remains that he runs a tight clubhouse. Despite the comments and tantrums from players every now and then, his stewardship is something that has never come into question. That is a far stronger asset to look at.

As much as the Dodgers would benefit from gaining a new general manager, the risk of losing Mattingly in the process would do more harm than good.